enema of the state
by xfucktheglasses
Summary: In which Suigetsu loses his swag, Sasuke just wants his alcohol and Kiba is amused. "I worry 'bout our relationships."


YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS GONNA COME BACK WITHOUT BRINGING MY BABIES WITH ME DID YOU. DID YOU?!

**enema of the state**

"Guys, I think I lost my swag."

Suigetsu looked absolutely distressed to the point where it was quite amusing to look at. His violet eyes were wide and filled with absolute horror, pale lips wide open. He paced the length of Sasuke's room back and forth, running his hand through his hair and completely ignoring that he was sporting nothing but his boxers.

Across the room, Sasuke rolled his eyes and loosely tied his tie around his neck. He smirked; loose ties made Hyuuga and his annoying uncle twitch.

"What the hell are you talking about," Kiba asked, more than amused.

Suigetsu stopped mid pace and turned to stare at them, eyes wide. "Dude, thas' gotta be th' only answer, man." He shook his head and sighed, grabbing his black slacks and slipping them on. He continued to stare at them as he buckled his belt, and said, "I mean, there I was, man, jus' walkin' outta my O-chem lecture and I saw this _fine_ chick walkin' by. So obvs I was gon' spit my game, right?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes again and sighed. "Go on."

"So I do jus' that! I spit my game and shit and it _didn't work, man_." Suigetsu shook his head, grabbing his white t-shirt and slipping it on.

Kiba stared at him, blankly, and shrugged a shoulder, rolling the sleeves of his gray button-down shirt up to his elbows. "So she was playing hard to get, bro."

Suigetsu glared, lightly, for a second and shook his head furiously, silver-white hair flying everywhere. "Nah, man! Thas' jus' it! I was over there bein' er'thin' a girl wants and she blows me off; but this fuckin' ass comes outta nowhere and goes all 'work it girl, wooooooork it' and he bags her?" He shook his head again and got the rebellious shorter strands out of his eyes. "Lost my swag, dude."

Sasuke and Kiba locked eyes for a brief second before Kiba burst into a loud fit of laughter and Sasuke was smirking, amusedly.

They were getting ready for The Hyuuga Spring Ball (capitals totally needed, by the way), and they, being the ever rebellious of their friends, grouped up and made sure to wear their article of clothing in any way that would make not only their dear ol' friend Neji twitch, but make his uncle froth at the mouth, as well. Because that's what Kiba, Suigetsu and Sasuke lived for; just watching the already twitchy Hyuugas twitch until they dislocated a limb.

It was always amazing.

But Suigetsu was not impressed.

Not impressed at all.

"I hate the both of ye, 'n I hope ye both choke in yer sleep." He buttoned his button-down and made sure to leave the top three buttons undone and the collard sticking up and messy. He loved being messy. He scanned the room and furrowed his brow, lightly. "Where's the Dead Last?"

"Probably eating ramen to calm his tits," Sasuke drawled, fixing his shirt and making sure to not tuck it in. He sat on the edge of his bed and grabbed at his converses, damp strands of hair falling in front of his eyes. "Kid's pussy whooped."

Suigetsu snickered under his breath as Kiba said, "If he can _get_ any; bet Hiashi and Neji live in front of the chick's door, man."

"Fair," Sasuke said, shrugging a shoulder.

Suigetsu ran a hand through his hair and deemed himself ready. "We gon' be late…"

The other two stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at him blankly.

"That's the point, fucking douche," Kiba said, slowly, as if he were speaking to a child. "Jesus fucking Christ."

Sasuke shook his head and stood from the bed, glumly deciding he was ready, as well. He was going for the alcohol – that was the sole reason why he was going to put himself through a twitchy and nervous Naruto, a crazy and terrifying Hinata, an annoyed and twitchy Hyuuga, an even more annoyed and twitchy Hiashi and the crazy chicks that Hinata was friends with.

For the alcohol.

Because Sasuke loved his alcohol.

And Hyuuga always outdid himself with the scotch.

Sasuke loved scotch.

"Let's go," he drawled once Kiba muttered he was done. He grabbed is keys and walked out of his room, strolling down the stairs and muttering good-bye to his mother.

"I'm driving," Kiba hissed once they got to Sasuke's car.

Sasuke spared him a glance and raised a brow. "Fuck you, no you're not."

"You're going to kill us you, fucking douche!"

"No I'm fucking not."

"Fuck yeah you are – remember what happened last year?"

"No."

Suigetsu leaned against the car, sighed and rolled his eyes. This never changed; the idiots… Well, they were idiots and they just either needed to resolve the tension or ignore it in general. Or something; Suigetsu didn't know, he kind of sucked at these things, sometimes. 'specially with no swag.

"I have the _keys_, you fucking ape," Sasuke hissed through his teeth.

"Well hand them the fuck over, then!"

"How 'bout you _both_ drive," Suigetsu said, calmly, shoving his hands in the pockets of his slacks.

Kiba froze for a brief moment and furrowed his brow, turning narrowed eyes towards Suigetsu. "How the fuck does that work?"

Suigetsu shrugged. "Ye each getta turn."

"Fuck no, coz he still ends up driving!"

Meanwhile Kiba switched his argument with Suigetsu, Sasuke slipped into the driver's seat, rolled down the windows and started the car. Which, inevitably, killed all arguments. Kiba closed his mouth mid-sentence and turned to glare at Sasuke, vehemently; Suigetsu only smirked and walked to the passenger's door, doubling the passenger's seat over and climbing onto the back. Kiba sat on the passenger's seat, grumbling to himself. He turned to Sasuke, glare darkening at Sasuke's smug smirk. "Fuck you, I hate you."

"I give a shit," Sasuke sighed.

"I hope you die."

"I hope you both die," Suigetsu said.

"I hope _you_ both die," Kiba growled.

"I hope everyone dies," Sasuke said, blankly.

"Fuck you," Kiba hissed.

"Where and how hard—"

"I worry 'bout our relationships," Suigetsu said as Sasuke drove out of the driveway and sped off towards Neji's house.

"WE'RE JUST FRIENDS," Kiba shouted, almost twitching and glaring at everything in sight, "THE THREE OF US. JUST FRIENDS. WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE."

Sasuke scanned the cross-streets, staring at the people staring back at them with confused, amused, and terrified looks. God, how he hated stoplights. "I know neither of you," he muttered, slouching in his seat, placing an elbow on the car-door and resting his cheek on his palm.

It went quiet after that, Alkaline Trio playing out of Sasuke's iPod. So, Suigetsu did what he did best; be random and say, "I am th' clarification t' astronomy dependin' on th' jealousy of oration catastrophe."

Both Sasuke and Kiba blinked their eyes and blanched out. And no one understood a thing.


End file.
